Me: You know what I was talking about. I’m realizing the one that I forgot in my list that I was most concerned about was the Facebook thing, where you had somebody pop up on your Facebook and say, and it said, “Why is this person still alive? You can’t afford a hit man?
Colonel Mustard: Oh, yeah, it was uh, it was uh…
Me: What was that?
Colonel Mustard: It was a picture that someone posted on Facebook saying
Me: Who was it a picture of?
Colonel Mustard: Oh, it’s not, it’s just a picture of a grave? And it just like.
Me: A grave?
Colonel Mustard: Yeah, it’s all, “Like if you know someone who is alive just because you can’t afford a hit man. That’s the whole picture. [Laughter] And I’m like …
Colonel Mustard: I just thought it was funny, ya know, because I was like, ya know, there are people in my life that I kinda wish would go away forever.
Me: Yeah, okay, alright.
…I moved on to a work a related conversation…
I’m debating whether I should jump around a bit, otherwise it might be awhile before I add a few cards presenting other players, Reverend Green, Professor Plum and Mr. White, but for now there is a bit of ground to cover with Colonel Mustard still. I have to admit that there were a few recorded sessions before I notified Colonel Mustard that I would have the recorder going. Here’s another earlier one:
---Conversation about the writing of my book, and his goal of writing his own fiction book based on his personal life experience---
Colonel Mustard: Some of the stuff I talk about like the government recruiting some of these vigilantes, because of a treaty that they signed. So they recruit these vigilantes and then they use them to do the things that they signed the treaty saying they wouldn’t do, because they are technically not soldiers, so they technically can’t be held accountable. Somehow they use people, somehow they try to circumvent the things they try to use these people for. See the government doesn’t want that taught. So as you go forward as you’re in the book the guy is telling you what happened. There are points in the future where people are asking what happened and being told different things. I’m trying to show, it’s really weird. So it’s about one character is writing all the facts and then you have people generations later trying to find out what happened, the truth. So I try to show how our personal life story, whatever happened, it gets twisted and jumbled and sometimes our heroes become villains and our villains become the heroes, and how people will do whatever they have to do to protect themselves, and to protect an entity, you know whatever.
For example, the government, they are going to cover their own ass, even though they were totally 100% for basically hiring a group of vigilantes to be their own personal kill squad. They went and script these guys, you go, and you do the missions that none of my guys can legally do, and then at the end they say well, you went and you did all this. And then what they do is they take every mission that these guys accomplish and all the things that they did and they charge them with treason for violating the treaty they accepted. So they use him as a patsy. They say, you are going to be the tool. You are going to do it all, and then the government turns around and tries to give them up to the enemy as a way to placate them. So it’s just kind of trying to show that everybody uses you.
Me: You said that this book is like nonfiction actually, but it’s your life story?
Colonel Mustard: It’s kind of like what happened to my brother. Where they used him up, and then they threw him away, and that’s the part of the story I want to tell, is what happened to him.
Me: Because the government was hiring him to be an assassin of sorts.
Colonel Mustard: Oh, yeah, I mean they trained him as a Ranger. He was sniper qualified and they used the guy. He’s the guy they send in and he takes a shot, but they can never confirm the kill even though they saw the guy’s head explode, because it’s behind enemy lines. He’s the guy you send out and then pretend he never existed. And so he’s the grunt. When he broke, and his mind finally snapped, they threw him out. They threw him away, and they said he was dishonorable and that he was such a horrible soldier and really all he ever did was follow his orders, until one guy told him to fire live ammo at his own people. I mean yeah, he lost his best friend that way, because he was one of those people, but yeah.
Me: And so what you’re saying is the government is the one that gave him the order.
Colonel Mustard: Yes.
Me: And you know this because this is what he told you of his experience.
Colonel Mustard: Uh, huh, and so what I did was I took you know, my
Me: But you’ve said that you’ve taken orders from your brother.
Colonel Mustard: Right.
Me: So, what’s your story in this? Because at one point you said you followed him into the military.
Colonel Mustard: Yeah, I was trying to follow him into the military and he told me not to, but that was my goal was to follow him and do whatever he did, because that seemed right. When he was doing drugs and dealing drugs and stuff, that’s when I was really more like a, you know, an underage enforcer, you know. So, ah, my part in the story is about how, cuz when he left, I didn’t take over everything that he had, but I didn’t leave the business. So when he left his associates continued using me.
Me: In the drug business?
Colonel Mustard: Yeah, I stayed in, continued to do the driving, the deliveries, the selling the, whatever they needed done. And I continued to get my cut. And they continued to pay, they kept money aside for him. He got a cut because I was working. So it’s kinda like, ah, in my story the way I’m writing that is that he decided to join the military and serve his country that way, and I continued to do the behind the scenes militia type stuff. That stuff that he was starting that is technically illegal.
Me: Um, were you ordered by the government to, or your brother, or what was that about?
Colonel Mustard: You know sometimes I wonder if my brother, I mean I know when the Marines showed up they had a lot to say to me. And I know that there’s a few people that pulled me aside and talked with me. When I was at my brother’s Ranger graduation his commanding officer pulled me aside to talk to me and asked me when I planned on signing up, and I don’t understand why. Part of me thinks that they recruited my family. They went and found guys who did it for patriotism then poke, poke, poke, and see if they can’t break the family a little bit, and make some slightly off kids who we can have our way with. My brother was, he wanted to kill people. That was what he wanted to do. Now days the kind of people they want in the military, they still know what they want. They still want people who want to kill people legally. I mean, they make the perfect subjects. They’ll walk into a training scenario, thinking it’s a training scenario, and before you know it they’re enjoying what they do. But yeah.
Me: So that was your brother’s experience, that he enjoyed what he did. And then you were at home doing the drug stuff, as he was pushing orders and running the drug business through you.
Colonel Mustard: Pretty much. He would confer with his people and they’d say, “Hey, do this, do this, do that.
Me: You said once before that somebody completely cleared your history for you, your background check. Who did that?
Colonel Mustard: Uh, the Sheriff’s Department.
Me: Um, why did they do that? Because, what?
Colonel Mustard: I turned into a snitch.
Me: Because you said, “I’ll give you all the people if you…”
Colonel Mustard: They said yeah, you’re going to jail or you give me the people you have. They said they would make sure that there, nothing is put on me other than the only thing left in my record is that I was a runway. And I was only called a runaway after I was kicked out of the house and I had already called the court and told them I was kicked out. And then she called in when the checks stopped coming in. But that was the only thing still on my record as a juvenile, but the rest of it is gone.
Me: Do you suspect that because you were a snitch that that ended the people higher than you, in the business that you were a part of?
Colonel Mustard: Well then they got outta jail, that’s why I left.
Me: Oh, there you go. So, maybe you’re…
Colonel Mustard: My fellow enforcers, the fellow enforcers, and some of the people that worked under my brother who were technically management got outta jail and started poking around and asking if I was back in the country and I said, “Op, okay, I’m gone.”
Me: Looking for ya?
Colonel Mustard: I didn’t, the problem was is that I got to a point that I could see myself becoming my brother.
Me: Oh yeah.
Colonel Mustard: And I could see that if I didn’t make a change, I wouldn’t ever be able to turn my conscience back on. I could feel myself kind of dying inside. But when they came looking for me, I mean I had been a missionary for two years out preaching the word of God, trying to tell people, love your brother. Do all this stuff, and when I heard they were out and they were all looking for me. My first instinct was to go [Inaudible].
Me: Go what?
Colonel Mustard: It wasn’t even nice. I mean I was close to [Inaudible]. The one guy that got out, he had kids. I’m not talkin like, you know, eighteen, nineteen year olds. I’m talking like, four and five year olds, and I was thinking about killing them, just to get [Inaudible.] And that made me, like I couldn’t go back, you know? I knew I had to leave, or I would become this monster that.
Me: When you call yourself an enforcer, what was that? Making sure people pay?
Colonel Mustard: Underage people didn’t deliver. You know, or came up light. You know, like the product, you know, when we would go to see what product they had left you know, that we had already given them to sell, they are a couple of bags short, but there’s no money to accommodate, you know account for that. So then we would start pressing for the money, or the product. People don’t deliver that are under eighteen, I would go in and do the hurtin. [Inaudible], they go to jail.
Me: So you were underage so you could beat them up without going to jail. Is that it?
Colonel Mustard: Without being an adult, being a minor [Inaudible] young kid. I grew up in a good ol’ boy town. So, guys could get in fist fights and that was just the way the world works. I was useful. And they preyed on that. You know they preyed on that I wanted to be useful. I was a tool. I was good at my job. Most of the time I didn’t even have to hurt people.
Me: Just threaten.
Colonel Mustard: I was just, I had a reputation for being so crazy nobody wanted to take a chance. Nobody knew how far I would go. Built up a really bad energy.
Me: How are you feeling about that?
Colonel Mustard: Doing those things? Then, it was kind of a survival thing. Now I kinda think I was a piece of shit.
Me: Yeah, you regret.
Colonel Mustard: I can’t say I regret it because if I didn’t do it…
Colonel Mustard: I wouldn’t have had the realization that I, I wouldn’t have been able to change who I was.
Me: It’s a process. You see yourself as a process.
Colonel Mustard: You gotta have those experiences. So I can’t say I regret it. I feel bad for the people that I have hurt, but I can’t say that I regret that I did anything that I [Inaudible], it’s one of those double edged; people go around and say, “What the hell was wrong witchou. How did you? You had to learn that lesson?” Yeah, yeah, you come here and let me, give me your kid, and I’m going to beat on your child, and I’m gonna train your child to hate. I’m gonna make your child think their worthless. I’m going to tell your child that hurting people’s okay. That’s all I’m going to beat into ‘em for years. Then I’m going to send them off into society. You tell me how long it takes them to learn [Inaudible]. Part of me survived.
Me: And you think that’s, when you talk about government using your family, do you think that that’s...
Colonel Mustard: In my opinion it all comes back to that. When there’s a design to program kids. Let’s make a facility for misguided youth where they spend most of their time in a padded room where they can vent and scream and yell and punch stuff. And then they always seem to be pissed off at their family. Tell them mommy and daddy didn’t take care of them or love them enough. Let’s tell them that mommy and daddy were mean, and mommy and daddy were the problem, and they’re why you did this, and they’re why, and you’re so angry and maybe you should join the military. There’s something like ninety percent of the guys he was in the group home with who ended up in the military. Yeah, so ninety percent of the people that he was in the group home with were in the military.
Me: Do you feel like the government got involved when you’re brother was in that group home?
Colonel Mustard: I think that’s where they started.
Me: What evidence do you have other than the fact; Was it a government group home?
Colonel Mustard: It was a state run group home.
Me: What was it called? In California?
Colonel Mustard: It was um, what was it? Yeah, it was up in Northern Cal. And they couldn’t even, I mean like, they would lose medical records. They wouldn’t talk about the medication with his parents. You know he was, technically while he was there, a ward of the state. And his visitation rights, I mean, it was visitation rights prison. There was no physical contact. You know, you have twenty minutes to talk to him or whatever, ten minutes to talk to him. I couldn’t even go into the facility.
Me: What was he there for? It was for juvenile delinquents?
Colonel Mustard: Pretty much. It was, he was violent. They couldn’t catch him for the drugs. They knew he was dealing but they couldn’t prove it. What finally put him in there was my mom slapped him in the face and he put her in the wall, and I mean, he didn’t like, honestly I thought she deserved it. My grandfather built the house, the part of the house we were in and he had his studs too far apart, and he actually smacked my mom into the wall so hard that she was sitting in sheetrock. I mean I was like, I thought he was totally justified.
Me: Because your mom had done what?
Colonel Mustard: She slapped him in the face. And I mean it wasn’t like. There was no reason. She asked him a question, and she didn’t like the answer, and she said, “You’re a liar.”
And like Wham! And like, Pow! And I was there saying, “No, mom, he’s telling the truth, he’s telling the truth.” I had been there.
“You snuck out last night.”
“No I didn’t”
We watched Star Wars all night, ya know? So, unless he snuck out at like five o’clock in the morning; went and did something else at three A.M. and went and got back by five thirty. So he time traveled. Yeah. When he came out of there and it was all….
Me: Well, um, you know, you talk about them not giving your parents the records, and that he seemed to be drugged out, and all the things you describe. The reason I’m interested in where it was, is there’s, you know, in the research that I’ve been doing, there’s institutions that are pretty well known for being sources of subjects, for the Mk-Ultra crap.
Colonel Mustard: It was a smaller facility but I think that they were trying that. Personally, when you look back on it, and you think about the things and the people that were there; I think that is really what they wanted him to be.
Me: Well the thing that, if there is any evidence of that at all, is just that they were drugging him and not saying what they were giving him, and they were not giving medical records at all.
Colonel Mustard: Yeah, they were giving him something to keep him calm.
Me: But what’s the something?
Colonel Mustard: Exactly. And I’m like calm, you call that calm?
Me: Well, and the real famous drug of choice for that was LSD.
Colonel Mustard: That would explain my brother’s aversion to it. He hates it. Of all the drugs he ever did, he didn’t like LSD. I never figured it out. They wanted to send me there too.
Me: How did he manage to get into the military if he had the history that he had? The military is pretty, well, or they say, they screen you pretty well for stuff like that. They don’t want people in the military with guns that are drug dealers and violent. So that’s another thing that’s kind of interesting.
Colonel Mustard: My brother, is the only person I know who is closer to being a sociopath than me, who really isn’t. He can, I mean, that kid is, he makes; I’m a chameleon. I can sit and do, da, do, da, do, talk to different people. Be friends with everybody. He doesn’t just go into a group and be friends. He goes into a group and takes control. I’ve never, I mean, they’ve given him multiple tests. He’ll be like, “What do you want me to score,” you know. He was just joking, “What do you think I should score.”
I go, “I don’t know.”
He would be like, “How should I act,” You know, and he’ll just, and he does it so well. I mean, they can say he’s a paranoid schizophrenic one day and the next day, you know, he has no mental problems whatsoever, you know. He was a master manipulator. And honestly, I think that’s what the military wanted. I think they knew how he was.
Me: Did he go in, or did they recruit him?
Colonel Mustard: I believe they recruited him, and talked to him first, because they were doing a thing at the school, but then they talk to everybody. They saw him looking at them and they went and made contact, and he was all gung ho from then on. You offer somebody who hates people...
Me: This was after he had been in the home.
Colonel Mustard: Yeah, and I mean, he had six suicide attempts before, and they were all on record, and the military took him. That tells me that either somebody didn’t do their job.
Me: Or they did.
Colonel Mustard: Or they did exactly what they wanted to do. Because, I mean, I think that they just wanted somebody that was so; even to this day, after all that they have done to him, he still won’t tell people about the missions that he was told not to tell people about. He’ll tell you, he’ll tell you enough to let you know that hey, there was missions. Because like, they said it was a training exercise but I fired live ammunition. I remember how the sand felt. And I remember the people. And I remember the training. And you’re like, where was it? And, I can’t tell you. They’ll come kill me. They’ll come kill my family. I’m like, okay, that’s weird. If I didn’t know that people were monitoring me and, because of my association with him, I probably would think that he was a nut case. He would be a definite kook candidate. Which is what most people would dismiss him as, but he’s not.
Me: He might be a kook candidate, but a different kind than they’re thinking. [Laughter]
Colonel Mustard: Yeah, oh no, he’s, I mean, if I could figure out the trigger I could set him off. He’d burn down the whole God damn state. It doesn’t matter. If you could just, push him, it’s over. He’s not the kind of person you want to get on a mission.
Me: Well, he’s not the kind of person you want on a mission? I thought that he was.
Colonel Mustard: Once he chooses, once he, once he commits himself…
Me: Once he decided he is going to do it.
Colonel Mustard: You know, “I’m doing this.” I don’t think there’s enough bullets in the world to stop him. He will, he will completely, he will destroy things. It doesn’t matter. There is no such thing as an innocent. It’s all business from here on out, completely detached. It’s over.
Me: Well, um, when I was talking to you last time, my feeling was, I had a bunch of questions I was going to ask you about the, the um. Questions from the HARE test on being a sociopath. I guess it would be wrong to say you don’t have sociopathic qualities, or whatever, but I would say that it’s an accurate diagnosis, in comparison to a multiple, I should say DID. And probably your brother too. If he can switch, that’s why multiples use the word switch. If he can switch from being crazy to being normal.
Colonel Mustard: You can talk to him and have the most normal conversation in the world, and think, wow, this guy’s got his shit together, and then you find out that he’s completely high, and on all kinds of freaken medication, and drunk off his ass, and you wouldn’t even know it. I mean, it’s like, he just says, “I’m going to be this way.” Poof. He could get totally plastered and say, “Oh, it’s time to drive.” Boop, no problems. Drove right there, like he had not had a drink at all. Because like, and I don’t know what it was. It was crazy. I used to think that he didn’t drink actually. I didn’t think he was actually inhaling none of that. I thought he was just faking it. I’d seen him down the beers. [Laughter]. There’s nothing like not knowing. I think that’s the worse part for me.
Me: Not knowing…
Colonel Mustard: The truth.
Colonel Mustard: Whether or not they actually got involved.
Me: You mean like some of his missions he said he had?
Colonel Mustard: Oh no, whether or not the government actually got involved in my family and started twisting things. You know.
Me: Oh. So you don’t really know, but you are imagining the government is involved because of the things your brother has said about…
Colonel Mustard: Not just what he said, but just some of the odd things, you know. Like the odd people that would show up to talk to my grandfather, my mom’s mom. You know, they’d show up, and there would be a real quiet conversation out by the car. And I’m like, well, they’re obviously not Jehovah Witnesses, because Jehovah Witnesses, we shoot at ‘em, ya know, we shoot at ‘em. They’re something else.
Me: Um, the conversations between your brother and whoever was out by the car?
Colonel Mustard: No, my grandfather, and them. My grandfather and them, and then eventually with my brother, but I was [Inaudible].
Me: So you think that your grandfather was maybe the one that.
Colonel Mustard: I think he was involved. I think that, both of my grandfathers would have those weird, everyone needs to leave the room, visits with guys in suits. Definitely just, at all.
Me: What was your grandfather’s business? Was it…
Colonel Mustard: My grandfather was in the infantry. My other grandfather was Department of Defense. He worked in the shipping yards. He worked in the shipping yards, on ah, he worked on the Enterprise. Yeah, the Naval Enterprise? He actually worked on that ship. He was working on it and doing repairs.
Me: What is that?
Colonel Mustard: The Enterprise is a destroyer.
Me: Oh, oh, okay, so I’m thinking you’re going all science fiction on me.
Colonel Mustard: No, no, the Enterprise was the flag ship, just like it is in the science fiction show. So, yeah, he actually got to work on the Enterprise. He worked on subs.
Me: So you’re from a military family.
Colonel Mustard: I’m from a family with some messed up parents, evidently, because of the things you get exposed to in there.
Me: You are from a family with messed up experience, and you’re right, on some level, it’s like the military screens for the things your family has been involved in, and yet you’re from a military family.
Colonel Mustard: And so, I mean, it’s almost like they targeted us. I don’t know what changed with me. I think my brother snapped before they could decide to recruit him. I think they made him stop, because I think that when my brother broke they were like, “wait a minute. I don’t know.” They didn’t think I could handle it.
Me: He became a wild, um cannon.
Colonel Mustard: Yeah, they don’t need a wild card out there.
Me: Where is your brother now? I mean, is he…
Colonel Mustard: Northern Idaho.
Me: Just living at home, doing his thing.
Colonel Mustard: Living at home. Agoraphobic.
Me: He sits in his house and panics because the government might come and get him?
Colonel Mustard: Heavily armed. Smokes a lot of pot. Drinks a lot. Goes to a lot of movies. And makes more money than you or I put together.
Me: Off of?
Colonel Mustard: Yeah, he’s a hundred percent disabled vet. He gets his social security, and his benefits, he gets [Inaudible]. And his friends notice that I’m [Inaudible]. But no he’s, the scary thing is he is still in great shape. His back is all jacked up from a jump. He got some problems with some discs, but uh, he stays in pretty much fighting shape. He’s waiting for a phone call he says. When they reactivate him.
Me: So, he’s still, he’s basically still in the military they said.
Colonel Mustard: Well, technically he was never discharged. They improperly filled out his paperwork. So, technically he never went into the military.
Me: What do you mean?
Colonel Mustard: When they filled out his discharge papers, they didn’t complete them correctly which makes them invalid as a government document.
Me: What’s incorrect about them?
Colonel Mustard: That’s what he’s been trying to figure out. He hasn’t told me. He hasn’t given me an update on that, but the last I heard he was like, “Whatever they did to discharge me; they didn’t fill the form out correctly so technically, I’m AWOL.
Me: It’s all right, they’re paying him. [Laughter]
Colonel Mustard: I’m like hey, they’re paying you dude. Hey, if you can make a case for that dude, get you’re twenty in, and then they gotta give you the retirement, on top of the disability, on top of everything. And then they gotta give you all your, they gotta give you you’re ranks based on your speed of advancement, and uh, you know that will up everything.
Me: You said before that they were, that, that, you have been told by the government that he might be called on to do assassinations of citizens.
Colonel Mustard: Uh, huh.
Me: So, is that his job now?
Colonel Mustard: To my knowledge he doesn’t ever leave his house. It doesn’t mean that…
Me: Did he just tell you that that’s what they told him?
Colonel Mustard: He said that was something that he agreed to, something that he had to agree to before he left.
Me: That he had to agree to?
Colonel Mustard: Yeah, I think he wanted to agree to it. His plan was to join like, the CIA, Secret Service; do stuff like that. He wanted to get. He went all like, I need to do, I’m serving my, I mean it was like a broken record. I’m serving my country, so. I don’t know. And it was misguided patriotism, most of the time.
Colonel Mustard: I mean, it’s okay to kill people for your country, if you’re shooting the right people. Unfortunately the people you need to shoot are usually the ones giving the orders to shoot somebody else. I don’t know, I don’t know why. I didn’t see anything special about us.
Me: You mean about your family?
Colonel Mustard: Yeah.
Me: What about other people that were in your business? Your gang thing. Were they recruited, or anything, or just your family?
Colonel Mustard: No, most of them were pretty much just trash. Sometimes I wonder if they just wanted us because they knew we were willing to go above and be…, you know, we were willing to take it farther than most of the other ones. Like yeah, there was some management that would beat somebody up, smack around a few times, but they, I mean, my brother was in management, and he whipped way into people. I mean, he would hurt ‘em. He would make ‘em so they would be….
Me: And then they would cover for the damage he did?
Colonel Mustard: Why, what do you have to cover? You beat the hell outta somebody who owes you money, that’s their problem, not yours.
Me: Oh, I thought you were talking military.
Colonel Mustard: No, I’m sure they cover for him too, but I know, that uh, you know in our little organiz…, it wasn’t like we were like huge players either. You know, I mean I had competition. I wasn’t afraid of ‘em. I didn’t care if they were, you know. Sometimes they made more money. A lot of times I would make more money. But I didn’t have time to deal with that kind of stuff. Me and my brother were always the first people up. I think they wanted somebody who just didn’t care, who just saw people as a target. That’s why I wonder why he did what he did to me when I was a kid. You know, why he trained me. I mean, it’s like, I don’t understand where that decision to program me like that came from, to turn me into this…
Me: Did he do it after he had been in that institution, or just all of his life he was like that?
Colonel Mustard: His whole life. And that’s what’s screwed up. I just don’t know. That’s what makes me think that there’s, I wonder if the government had any involvement before that. I don’t even know if he just arbitrarily just snapped.
Me: He could be just that screwed up.
Colonel Mustard: I guess he could be, but man. It’s just too much coincidence for me. Because, like when they said my grandfather decided to stop taking his pills, and went and sat down and died. I question that.
Me: Do you think he was killed?
Colonel Mustard: I think his son is likely, or his daughter. Not my mother but one of her sisters. Those are the three people who have the most to gain from him not being around anymore. It’s not hard to get, you know, you can get sugar pills. You can get them in any color you want. And switch out some of the medication. Give it out for a few days at a time. I’d like to think that he did it himself. [Inaudible] that I’m not going to intervene anymore. When he died they sold out property like nobody’s business. [Inaudible and trivia] That’s what I don’t understand. Why would they pick, how do they pick the family? You know, how do they…?
Me: Well, and did they, you know.
Colonel Mustard: That’s the thing. I don’t know. Cuz, for all I know, I could just be looking at the tea leaves…
Me: Guesstamate it.
Colonel Mustard: …saying, well, I see this. And someone else walks around and says, “Oh, that’s tea leaves.” And I’m going oh, no, no, no, that’s a grim, or that’s a whatnot thing, with an oozits.
Colonel Mustard: I did have a weird dream. Every night I did the same thing in my dream. It was me in a window, with a rifle, and every night I got closer and closer and I’m looking down the scope, and on the seventh night, its Gordon B. Hinckley’s head, and boom! [Laughter].
Me: You’re supposed to take out Gordon B. Hinckley?
Colonel Mustard: I have no idea, I just, it was a weird dreamed. Every night, it just kept, I would start at the beginning and go through the whole thing until I saw his head in the crosshairs. I’m like, huh, that’s just weird. I liked the guy. He was nice.
Me: You were supposed to assassinate Gordon B. Hinckley.
Colonel Mustard: Maybe, or maybe I was just being crazy.
Me: Yeah. Um, I talked to this woman about President Benson, because I was talking about the Glenn L. Pace report, and um, I was saying, you know, you have to give the Mormon Church credit. I mean it was actually President Benson that ordered the investigation, that resulted in the Bishop Pace report in the first place. Which means, I mean, the Mormon Church knew that there was an issue and was investigating it. As opposed to like the Catholic Church where the Pope was helping to cover it up. You know,
Colonel Mustard: Yeah, the church [Inaudible].
Colonel Mustard: How do we get these young boys not to go to the police?
Me: Yeah, yeah, so anyway, I was talking about that and she said, you know, um, she had a friend that was a nurse at the hospital, who said that they gave Gordon B. Hinckley a lobotomy. I meant, not Gordon B. Hinckley, um, Benson. And she said, “I think they did it because he knew too much.”
Colonel Mustard: I could see that. I could see that. I wasn’t watching conference today, but one of my friends was and they called me up and said, “Did you know that there’s a person, one of the apostles is talking about being diagnosed with depression, and mental illness, and the whole conference, the whole session was about mental illness, and how it is no different than any other disease. We don’t need to look down on these people. We need to help pick them up. I was like, we don’t ever talk about mental illness in the church. That’s a new one.
Me: Well, they probably do, just not too often in conference.
Colonel Mustard: Well, I mean, you’re in a state of what, we have the highest concentration of pill poppers.
Me: And depression, you know, um, don’t even get me started on that. It’s usually women, because women in the Mormon Church don’t tend to get treated. Yeah, they’re talking about its depression. They might be in a conference saying let’s not look down on them, let’s let them take their pills, but the next one is going to stand up and say, “You know we don’t need to give our women any power, they like being subservient to us.” [Laughter].
---Close of conversation---