Saturday July 30th 2016
A homeless man had stayed the night. He was still in the lounge chair in the living room. I thought my roommate would have asked him to leave once his clothes were washed. The man knew information that he had no reason to know. I had breakfast and invited the homeless man to leave. I was stable in the morning when I left the homeless man at the door and locked it.
I began to feel my mental health slipping by the time I arrived at work. By the time I asked for my break around 5:00 pm I asked for it because I knew I was not well. I plugged my phone into the charger, deleted way too much, took my keys, credit card and bus pass and walked off the job. I was in a full blown psychosis. Everything after this is a fuzzy dream. I remember doing, but logic was gone. I walked all the way home, four miles. I had dropped my keys off in someone’s mail box along the way and when I got home I didn’t have a key to get in, so I turned around and walked back.
By the time I got to the intersection where I turn to go to work again I remembered that I had already left work, so I kept walking. Further was in the direction of Magna so I came up with a reason for it. I walked toward Magna because I had worked at Kennecott previously and it was the next most familiar option. When I came to highway 201 I realized it would not be safe to cross so I turned and walked on the South side, facing traffic, until I got to what I decided was an intersection and walked across the highway and into the parking lot of the security office. I realized everyone would have gone home, because it was late, so I continued to walk west.
I had lived in Tooele previously, and decided that is where I was headed. While I was walking a played with my shadow as it moved across the highway when cars went by. The cars hit it. I thought of following my shadow in front of the cars. Then I thought it might be dangerous and decided against it, but occasionally I forgot that it might be dangerous and followed my shadow toward the traffic.
Sunday July 31st 2016
The highway patrol picked me up by the time I got past the Power Plant. I remember taking my shirt off. I remember telling them that I worked at Kennecott and that I was going to Tooele because I lived there. They recognized that I had “Mental Problems” but dropped me off at a gas station at Lake Point. That’s on the other side of the freeway.
I walked into the neighborhoods. I was exhausted and found the door to a house open and went in. I laid down on their couch to sleep. There were lights from a flashlight coming from the window and door. In my mind I thought the house was being robbed. When the lights went away I walked out and across the street to find another house that might be, in my mind, safer. The police stopped me. From my perspective, they were simply in my way. I remember being asked questions I didn’t understand and I remembered being turned around and handcuffs put on me. I was put into the police car. I tried to get the lock to the door to the police car open with my tongue. I was not upset sitting in the back seat of the police car, just frustrated because I couldn’t get out.
I was taken to what I thought was a hospital. I believed I was being taken to a psychiatric ward because there was a gurney in the hall. I had experience with psych wards, and knew I did qualify at this point. I was relieved but I didn’t stay long. I remember sitting in what I thought was a waiting room.
I remember that I was taken from the hospital into the police car again. I remember being handcuffed with my hands behind me and screaming that he was hurting me.
I was taken to the detention center, but I still believed it was a hospital. I remember feeling surrounded and threatened by a lot of police officers and put in a room with rubber walls. I thought the walls of the room were going to close in on me. I walked around the room pushing dots that had been pressed into the rubber. I remember taking my clothes off and putting them back on. I noticed a bruise on the wrist of my left arm and pushed at it. I banged on the door because I needed to go to the bathroom and was given a cup of water instead. I pooped in the cup because there was nowhere else to go.
Then I was put in a cell where there was only cement walls and a cement bench, and a toilet with a water fountain on top. The water was murky and I thought that maybe I had to drink toilet water if I was thirsty. There was no toilet paper so I had to ask for some. The cell was cold and lying on the cement bench was colder so I paced. Because the only thing soft was the toilet paper I paced with the toilet paper held under my chin. I tried to wrap the toilet paper around me like a mummy because I was cold but decided it couldn’t be done so I just paced with the toilet paper. I was exhausted and went back and forth between pacing and lying on the cold cement bench. I banged on the door and asked that they turn the heat up. I was told it could not be controlled. When I laid on the cement bench hoping I could try to sleep. It was noisy from the hallway and freezing cold. The light was still on and I could not turn it off. It was cold, hard, loud and light. I paced and wished I were still outside. It would have been softer, darker and warmer. I asked for a blanket and pillow and was told I could not have them until I was booked. I did not know what being booked meant.
I thought about the scene in the movie “Men Who Stare at Goats” where men were being held in cells with noise so they couldn’t sleep. I thought that maybe I was being tortured like them, but at least they had blankets and pillows, to put over their ears. I was so cold I was shivering and I tried to imaging someone holding me to keep me warm.
I watched through the window. I could see the light shining against a paper towel holder in such a way that it looked like a scary face. Another inmate was being booked and he was given a mattress, pillow and blanket. I realized what booking meant. I was afraid I would never get a blanket and pillow because I knew I could not give the information they needed. I did not have my cell phone with me and my mind was gone.
I laid down next to the toilet because at least it was a bit darker in the shade of the cement bench. When I woke up I kept asking for a blanket and pillow, and kept being told I needed to be booked first. I told them I couldn’t do the paperwork. A bag of food was given to me through the slot in the door. The food was disgusting. The cheese sandwich was made with old Kraft wrapped cheese and the bread was so stale it was hard and the edges were soggy. There was a stale cookie that was also hard. I thought of screaming at them, “Bad cop, no donut,” but decided against it.
I realized that I was not in a psychiatric ward and I would need my medication. I banged on the door and told them I needed my medication. Later a woman from Valley Mental Health came and asked questions. I told her I needed my medication. I also told her I needed a blanket and pillow. They told me I needed to be booked first. I noticed that the woman from Valley Mental Health had a sticky note with my roommates name and information on it. I was relieved because I thought now I would have the information I would need to be booked. I told them to book me. They let me out to be booked but the woman from Valley Mental Health denied that the information on the note had anything to do with me. I told them I couldn’t do the paperwork. They said it would be done on the computer. They didn’t understand. I couldn’t give them the information on a computer either. I didn’t know it. I knew I wasn’t functioning well enough to give it. So they put me back in the cell. I was angry and believed they just wanted to torture me. The woman from Valley Mental Health left.
I decided I was going to freeze and die in the cell if I didn’t get booked so I banged on the door and told them to book me. They let me out and instructed me to stand on the X marked with tape on the floor and they took my picture. I told them that I couldn’t do the paperwork and they said again that they would do it on the computer, but I couldn’t remember my information well. They fingerprinted me. I asked them why I was in jail. What were the charges? They told me, public intoxication, trespassing and assaulting an officer. I knew I was not intoxicated. I was psychotic. I remembered being in someone else’s house, but I did not remember assaulting an officer.
They told me I could make a phone call. I didn’t know who to call. I did not have any phone numbers of anyone I know. They showed me a list of Bail Bondsmen. I called one and they called me back. I told the Bail Bondsman the information for my sister, my mother, and my roommate. At least I gave him their names and the cities where they lived. It was the best I could do.
I told the police that I thought that the homeless man who had stayed in my home had drugged me and raped me. I told the officer that I was not intoxicated, that I had been drugged and raped. The officer said the police were on my side. I pointed to the cell where I had been locked up and said, “Well, that was fun.” I wanted to shake him and say, “No one here is on my side.” I told him I wanted to take a shower.
They led me to a room where I could take a shower and gave me inmate clothes. They gave me a mattress, blanket and pillow and led me to the women’s section of the detention center. I slept. I don’t know how long. I had a few pieces of horrible prison food. I told them I wanted to participate in providing information for their investigation. I thought that they might let me go.
They told me I had a visitor and brought me a computer with a video phone. My roommate was on the other end. She told me I needed $750 to post bail. I told her I had enough to post bail and she said she would do what she could to get me out.
A few minutes later they came and got me and gave me my clothes to change into. They took me over to the desk and asked again what my phone number and address was. I tried the best I could but I could not remember the last four digits of my phone number. I did the best I could to give them my correct address, but failed. They gave me a bag with my mediations in it, and a post-it note with my roommates name and our address on it. Then they took me into a room where my roommate and the Bail Bondsman was. I signed some papers and they let me leave. It was August 2nd.
Court on November 3rd 2016
I was very confused at court on November 3rd because I was told they did not have an OTN number and it was my responsibility to get it. I asked at the administration office how I get it and I was told to go to the detention center. At the detention center I was given a case number on a yellow sticky note and told to go back to the court office and get it. At the court office I was given a book and release form and told to go back to the detention center. I went back to the detention center and I was told that I would have to make an appointment after 6:00pm. I was frustrated because I had borrowed a car to get to Tooele. I would have to return the car and would have no way to get to the detention center for the appointment.
When I got home and read the form I noticed it indicated that if I did not complete the form within 24 hours I might be arrested, and the clerk in the administration center had dated the form August 12, 2016. I don’t know why, unless she thought it should be dated for August 2nd when I was released. I kept telling all of them all along that I had already been booked. All I needed was the OTN number. I called the police after 6:00pm and was told to call after 10:00pm. I called after 10:00pm and was told I could come in to be booked and released. I told them I had already been booked I just needed the OTN number. They said I was talking about the same thing, and I would need to come in. I told them I did not have access to the transportation to get there. They said to call back when I did.
I made arrangements with my roommate to borrow her car the next day. I made an appointment and went in to complete the booking, again, on October 4th, after 10:00pm, because that was the only time they would meet with me. The form has the date the court clerk dated it of Aug 12th but is signed by the Sgt. At the detention center for October 4th. There is now two booking reports, the one they did when I was being held at the detention center, and the one they finally did on October 4th.
I noticed that in the police report of my arrest the officer, who took me from the hospital to the detention center, because I kicked him when he was trying to restrain me, stated, “I transported the female to the Tooele County Detention Center and booked her into jail.” This is not true, as I was not capable of participating in the booking process and was held in a freezing cement cell without a blanket, pillow or mattress, until I was determined to try.
A homeless man had stayed the night. He was still in the lounge chair in the living room. I thought my roommate would have asked him to leave once his clothes were washed. The man knew information that he had no reason to know. I had breakfast and invited the homeless man to leave. I was stable in the morning when I left the homeless man at the door and locked it.
I began to feel my mental health slipping by the time I arrived at work. By the time I asked for my break around 5:00 pm I asked for it because I knew I was not well. I plugged my phone into the charger, deleted way too much, took my keys, credit card and bus pass and walked off the job. I was in a full blown psychosis. Everything after this is a fuzzy dream. I remember doing, but logic was gone. I walked all the way home, four miles. I had dropped my keys off in someone’s mail box along the way and when I got home I didn’t have a key to get in, so I turned around and walked back.
By the time I got to the intersection where I turn to go to work again I remembered that I had already left work, so I kept walking. Further was in the direction of Magna so I came up with a reason for it. I walked toward Magna because I had worked at Kennecott previously and it was the next most familiar option. When I came to highway 201 I realized it would not be safe to cross so I turned and walked on the South side, facing traffic, until I got to what I decided was an intersection and walked across the highway and into the parking lot of the security office. I realized everyone would have gone home, because it was late, so I continued to walk west.
I had lived in Tooele previously, and decided that is where I was headed. While I was walking a played with my shadow as it moved across the highway when cars went by. The cars hit it. I thought of following my shadow in front of the cars. Then I thought it might be dangerous and decided against it, but occasionally I forgot that it might be dangerous and followed my shadow toward the traffic.
Sunday July 31st 2016
The highway patrol picked me up by the time I got past the Power Plant. I remember taking my shirt off. I remember telling them that I worked at Kennecott and that I was going to Tooele because I lived there. They recognized that I had “Mental Problems” but dropped me off at a gas station at Lake Point. That’s on the other side of the freeway.
I walked into the neighborhoods. I was exhausted and found the door to a house open and went in. I laid down on their couch to sleep. There were lights from a flashlight coming from the window and door. In my mind I thought the house was being robbed. When the lights went away I walked out and across the street to find another house that might be, in my mind, safer. The police stopped me. From my perspective, they were simply in my way. I remember being asked questions I didn’t understand and I remembered being turned around and handcuffs put on me. I was put into the police car. I tried to get the lock to the door to the police car open with my tongue. I was not upset sitting in the back seat of the police car, just frustrated because I couldn’t get out.
I was taken to what I thought was a hospital. I believed I was being taken to a psychiatric ward because there was a gurney in the hall. I had experience with psych wards, and knew I did qualify at this point. I was relieved but I didn’t stay long. I remember sitting in what I thought was a waiting room.
I remember that I was taken from the hospital into the police car again. I remember being handcuffed with my hands behind me and screaming that he was hurting me.
I was taken to the detention center, but I still believed it was a hospital. I remember feeling surrounded and threatened by a lot of police officers and put in a room with rubber walls. I thought the walls of the room were going to close in on me. I walked around the room pushing dots that had been pressed into the rubber. I remember taking my clothes off and putting them back on. I noticed a bruise on the wrist of my left arm and pushed at it. I banged on the door because I needed to go to the bathroom and was given a cup of water instead. I pooped in the cup because there was nowhere else to go.
Then I was put in a cell where there was only cement walls and a cement bench, and a toilet with a water fountain on top. The water was murky and I thought that maybe I had to drink toilet water if I was thirsty. There was no toilet paper so I had to ask for some. The cell was cold and lying on the cement bench was colder so I paced. Because the only thing soft was the toilet paper I paced with the toilet paper held under my chin. I tried to wrap the toilet paper around me like a mummy because I was cold but decided it couldn’t be done so I just paced with the toilet paper. I was exhausted and went back and forth between pacing and lying on the cold cement bench. I banged on the door and asked that they turn the heat up. I was told it could not be controlled. When I laid on the cement bench hoping I could try to sleep. It was noisy from the hallway and freezing cold. The light was still on and I could not turn it off. It was cold, hard, loud and light. I paced and wished I were still outside. It would have been softer, darker and warmer. I asked for a blanket and pillow and was told I could not have them until I was booked. I did not know what being booked meant.
I thought about the scene in the movie “Men Who Stare at Goats” where men were being held in cells with noise so they couldn’t sleep. I thought that maybe I was being tortured like them, but at least they had blankets and pillows, to put over their ears. I was so cold I was shivering and I tried to imaging someone holding me to keep me warm.
I watched through the window. I could see the light shining against a paper towel holder in such a way that it looked like a scary face. Another inmate was being booked and he was given a mattress, pillow and blanket. I realized what booking meant. I was afraid I would never get a blanket and pillow because I knew I could not give the information they needed. I did not have my cell phone with me and my mind was gone.
I laid down next to the toilet because at least it was a bit darker in the shade of the cement bench. When I woke up I kept asking for a blanket and pillow, and kept being told I needed to be booked first. I told them I couldn’t do the paperwork. A bag of food was given to me through the slot in the door. The food was disgusting. The cheese sandwich was made with old Kraft wrapped cheese and the bread was so stale it was hard and the edges were soggy. There was a stale cookie that was also hard. I thought of screaming at them, “Bad cop, no donut,” but decided against it.
I realized that I was not in a psychiatric ward and I would need my medication. I banged on the door and told them I needed my medication. Later a woman from Valley Mental Health came and asked questions. I told her I needed my medication. I also told her I needed a blanket and pillow. They told me I needed to be booked first. I noticed that the woman from Valley Mental Health had a sticky note with my roommates name and information on it. I was relieved because I thought now I would have the information I would need to be booked. I told them to book me. They let me out to be booked but the woman from Valley Mental Health denied that the information on the note had anything to do with me. I told them I couldn’t do the paperwork. They said it would be done on the computer. They didn’t understand. I couldn’t give them the information on a computer either. I didn’t know it. I knew I wasn’t functioning well enough to give it. So they put me back in the cell. I was angry and believed they just wanted to torture me. The woman from Valley Mental Health left.
I decided I was going to freeze and die in the cell if I didn’t get booked so I banged on the door and told them to book me. They let me out and instructed me to stand on the X marked with tape on the floor and they took my picture. I told them that I couldn’t do the paperwork and they said again that they would do it on the computer, but I couldn’t remember my information well. They fingerprinted me. I asked them why I was in jail. What were the charges? They told me, public intoxication, trespassing and assaulting an officer. I knew I was not intoxicated. I was psychotic. I remembered being in someone else’s house, but I did not remember assaulting an officer.
They told me I could make a phone call. I didn’t know who to call. I did not have any phone numbers of anyone I know. They showed me a list of Bail Bondsmen. I called one and they called me back. I told the Bail Bondsman the information for my sister, my mother, and my roommate. At least I gave him their names and the cities where they lived. It was the best I could do.
I told the police that I thought that the homeless man who had stayed in my home had drugged me and raped me. I told the officer that I was not intoxicated, that I had been drugged and raped. The officer said the police were on my side. I pointed to the cell where I had been locked up and said, “Well, that was fun.” I wanted to shake him and say, “No one here is on my side.” I told him I wanted to take a shower.
They led me to a room where I could take a shower and gave me inmate clothes. They gave me a mattress, blanket and pillow and led me to the women’s section of the detention center. I slept. I don’t know how long. I had a few pieces of horrible prison food. I told them I wanted to participate in providing information for their investigation. I thought that they might let me go.
They told me I had a visitor and brought me a computer with a video phone. My roommate was on the other end. She told me I needed $750 to post bail. I told her I had enough to post bail and she said she would do what she could to get me out.
A few minutes later they came and got me and gave me my clothes to change into. They took me over to the desk and asked again what my phone number and address was. I tried the best I could but I could not remember the last four digits of my phone number. I did the best I could to give them my correct address, but failed. They gave me a bag with my mediations in it, and a post-it note with my roommates name and our address on it. Then they took me into a room where my roommate and the Bail Bondsman was. I signed some papers and they let me leave. It was August 2nd.
Court on November 3rd 2016
I was very confused at court on November 3rd because I was told they did not have an OTN number and it was my responsibility to get it. I asked at the administration office how I get it and I was told to go to the detention center. At the detention center I was given a case number on a yellow sticky note and told to go back to the court office and get it. At the court office I was given a book and release form and told to go back to the detention center. I went back to the detention center and I was told that I would have to make an appointment after 6:00pm. I was frustrated because I had borrowed a car to get to Tooele. I would have to return the car and would have no way to get to the detention center for the appointment.
When I got home and read the form I noticed it indicated that if I did not complete the form within 24 hours I might be arrested, and the clerk in the administration center had dated the form August 12, 2016. I don’t know why, unless she thought it should be dated for August 2nd when I was released. I kept telling all of them all along that I had already been booked. All I needed was the OTN number. I called the police after 6:00pm and was told to call after 10:00pm. I called after 10:00pm and was told I could come in to be booked and released. I told them I had already been booked I just needed the OTN number. They said I was talking about the same thing, and I would need to come in. I told them I did not have access to the transportation to get there. They said to call back when I did.
I made arrangements with my roommate to borrow her car the next day. I made an appointment and went in to complete the booking, again, on October 4th, after 10:00pm, because that was the only time they would meet with me. The form has the date the court clerk dated it of Aug 12th but is signed by the Sgt. At the detention center for October 4th. There is now two booking reports, the one they did when I was being held at the detention center, and the one they finally did on October 4th.
I noticed that in the police report of my arrest the officer, who took me from the hospital to the detention center, because I kicked him when he was trying to restrain me, stated, “I transported the female to the Tooele County Detention Center and booked her into jail.” This is not true, as I was not capable of participating in the booking process and was held in a freezing cement cell without a blanket, pillow or mattress, until I was determined to try.
RSS Feed
